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About Traditional Art / Professional Senior Member Pia RavenariOther/Australia Group :iconliving-earth: Living-Earth
Every day is Earth day!
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Deviant for 12 Years
7 Month Core Membership
Statistics 678 Deviations 9,906 Comments 215,623 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Green Series - 06 Peacock by Ravenari Green Series - 06 Peacock :iconravenari:Ravenari 76 12 Green Series - 03 28 Parrot by Ravenari Green Series - 03 28 Parrot :iconravenari:Ravenari 80 11 Green Series - 05 Chipmunk by Ravenari Green Series - 05 Chipmunk :iconravenari:Ravenari 44 11 Green Series - 02 Rooster by Ravenari Green Series - 02 Rooster :iconravenari:Ravenari 53 10 Green Series - 04 Crocodile by Ravenari Green Series - 04 Crocodile :iconravenari:Ravenari 69 4 Green Series - 01 Fox by Ravenari Green Series - 01 Fox :iconravenari:Ravenari 85 18 Rose Series - 06 Bohor Reedbuck (Antelope) by Ravenari Rose Series - 06 Bohor Reedbuck (Antelope) :iconravenari:Ravenari 38 3 Rose Series - 05 Sable Antelope by Ravenari Rose Series - 05 Sable Antelope :iconravenari:Ravenari 39 4 Rose Series - 04 Collared Aracari (Toucan) by Ravenari Rose Series - 04 Collared Aracari (Toucan) :iconravenari:Ravenari 63 8 Goodbye, Friend. by Ravenari Goodbye, Friend. :iconravenari:Ravenari 42 11 Rose Series - 03 Red Panda by Ravenari Rose Series - 03 Red Panda :iconravenari:Ravenari 66 16 Rose Series - 02 Rakali (Australian Water Rat) by Ravenari Rose Series - 02 Rakali (Australian Water Rat) :iconravenari:Ravenari 36 7 It's So Cold by Ravenari It's So Cold :iconravenari:Ravenari 63 8 Rose Series - 01 Fox by Ravenari Rose Series - 01 Fox :iconravenari:Ravenari 85 21 The Copper Forest by Ravenari The Copper Forest :iconravenari:Ravenari 263 43 Blue Series - 06 Giraffe by Ravenari Blue Series - 06 Giraffe :iconravenari:Ravenari 129 27

Random Favourites

Flight Response Re-Upload by pallanoph Flight Response Re-Upload :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 537 68 Kirin Jin: Ink by pallanoph Kirin Jin: Ink :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 3,553 354 Illuminated by pallanoph Illuminated :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 907 134 Bluelip: Commission by pallanoph Bluelip: Commission :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 947 93 Unfledged by pallanoph Unfledged :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 1,011 131 Buddha by pallanoph Buddha :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 282 69 Thought And Memory by pallanoph Thought And Memory :iconpallanoph:pallanoph 3,819 379 fishhair by CrankBot fishhair :iconcrankbot:CrankBot 3,318 168 boo by mohdfikree boo :iconmohdfikree:mohdfikree 643 42 A Boy's Heart by Kaelycea A Boy's Heart :iconkaelycea:Kaelycea 2,238 210 le chat by Kisssooo le chat :iconkisssooo:Kisssooo 904 183 My heroin_E by Kisssooo My heroin_E :iconkisssooo:Kisssooo 189 29 mccartney eko notebook by sskoczek mccartney eko notebook :iconsskoczek:sskoczek 44 11 Vaporeon Swimming by IceandSnow Vaporeon Swimming :iconiceandsnow:IceandSnow 2,016 145 Realistic Kyogre by Leashe Realistic Kyogre :iconleashe:Leashe 2,552 398 IPL Espeon vs Jolteon by Leashe IPL Espeon vs Jolteon :iconleashe:Leashe 1,794 160

Activity


Pride

I AM PROUD

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

(Disclaimer: This discusses views that work for ME, and is not meant to be proscriptive to how other people deal with their paths on this journey at all. If you do it differently, that's awesome. *thumbs up*)

I was talking to my therapist Thursday about how weird it is to watch people getting so angry at my cancer. Tell me to fight it. To battle it. Crying 'fuck cancer.' Scribbling their thoughts onto the whiteboard they think is me, when none of those things are my philosophy at all...

Here's my perspective: If you treat the body as a battlefield, you will lose, even when you win. It's not a coincidence that people get so many war-based mental illnesses from waging war on their own bodies. That's why - in part - we have cancer-based PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. Our language is based in war and battle. 'Fight the flu!' 'Beat the cold!' 'Battle cancer!' 'Destroy toxins!' It is based fundamentally in destruction and death instead of in supporting the body. Not 'How to Support Your Body When You Have the Flu' but GO TO WAR, GO TO WAR NOW.

My body is not a battlefield, thanks. I'm not fighting a war. I'm not *angry* at my body for genetically doing what it knows how to do (grow tumours), I'm *grateful* that it's still stopping me from growing even more tumours. I want to support myself, not fight myself. I'm learning how to support my body, and your war and battle metaphors are not - intrinsically - supportive. I don't need a flamethrower to direct at myself. I don't need to shake my fist at my genetics. Do I wish it was different? Of course! But hey guess what, it's not.

My body, as with all nature, does what bodies and nature do - it gets sick, it gets diseased, it continues to try and live, it supports itself through illness, sometimes it gets weaker or stronger. Sometimes it lives or dies. That's not a war, my friends. That's life.

This Copper Forest illustration I've been working on, was intentionally a forest that's ill and sickened. The trees have galls. There's almost no leaves. Branches have fallen. Yet there is so much LIFE here, and dare I say it, BEAUTY. Do you want to go to war with that forest?

My body is like The Copper Forest. It is sickened. It has cancer/tumours (like galls). But there is so much life here. So much beauty. I'm not angry at myself. I'm not at war with myself. I'm not in a battle of 'life and death.' I'm just living as best I can, and supporting myself too.

I will treat my tumours and I will support my organs, my soul and I feel honestly very content about it all. I'm not happy I have cancer, but I don't feel like the process I'm going through is different to any other life process. Why go to war, when I can walk through the woods.

Instead of throwing your war/battlefield metaphors at me, throwing your vehement anger at my body (the tumours are grown by it after all). I invite you to come walk through the woods with me, and see what we find together.

That's what I think support looks like.

*

(Specific update: one of the tumours has grown 5 millimetres, which doesn't sound like much, but there's not all that much room in the neck for two tumours, and I see the radiation oncologist in two weeks. It looks like this will be the year I start radiation / Cyberknife radiosurgery! Exciting and somewhat terrifying times).

*

And my year from diagnosis anniversary:

A year ago today, I was diagnosed with multiple paragangliomas.

A glomus vagale paraganglioma (Thelma), a carotid body paraganglioma (Louise), and either a glomus jugulare or glomus tympanicum (Caramello). My koalas clinging to arteries, and feeding like vampires off my blood. (Or, as I like to call them at times, ‘those little fuckers’).

In the year that has followed, I’ve had many MRIs, one PET scan, multiple CT scans, a lot of bloodtests, and seen a lot of surgeons, specialists and been on a lot of websites. My team of specialists (Radiation Oncologist, Endocrinologist, Neurosurgeon, Vascular Surgeon, ENT Surgeon) are my boy band. They’re great. The nurses and radiologists that have helped me are incredible.

In the year that has followed we went from rushing headlong into surgery, before a brutal crashing to earth where I was told very frankly that the risks of death were too high for one surgeon to be comfortable doing it. Again and again, we were told that the risks were just brutal, and the permanent side effects (the ones that cannot be avoided) were frightening. Loss of voice. Loss of swallowing. Deafness.

They also didn’t guarantee the tumours wouldn’t return, and don’t include the removal of tiny Caramello.

So we learned about Cyberknife stereotactic radiosurgery and Gamma Knife. We learned about lutate and other chemotherapy options. We know about trials here in Western Australia and in the USA and elsewhere. I watched webinars and livestreams of the 2017 Para/Pheo International Symposium. A getting together of some of the best specialists in the world, on one of the rarest types of tumour in the world, that cannot be graded.

I’ve talked to patients in other states. I’ve talked to nurses and doctors in other states. I’ve become a Moderator of the Australia and New Zealand Pheochromocytoma and Paraganglioma Support Group. I spend a lot of time there, even when I seem inactive here.

I’ve been told to eat more. Eat less. Alkalise my body. Go ‘keto.’ Juice. Fast. Spend thousands of dollars on snake oil treatments. I’ve been told to be angry, be furious, be sad, be happy, feel lucky that it’s not a ‘bad cancer,’ feel terrified, feel like the way I think about my cancer will kill me, feel enlightened. I’ve been told that ‘my friend who did this one thing amazingly went into remission so you should also do this one thing’ even though none of those friends have ever had neuroendocrine cancer. I mostly just continue to do my own thing.

I’m doing well. I have bad days, but I had bad days before I was diagnosed. In the space of a year, I have learned to love myself more (happy valentine’s day, me) and love others more (happy valentine’s day, loved ones). I’m happier about my body. It keeps me alive! (Well it tries anyway). I’ve become more social. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words, and reached thousands of people, and my Patreon account is active again. I’ve done art I’m proud of. Talked to people who make me laugh and who I love and adore. I’ve finished the Bardic Grade in the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, and am about to commence the Ovate Grade.

I’ve gotten to enjoy epic sunsets and cloud formations in Ellenbrook. I get to see kangaroos on a weekly basis. I love the cats. I get to spend time with loved ones. I’ve spent the year enjoying old favourite cuisines and finding new ones. Hey Gusto Gelato exists and it’s in Perth! I’ve enjoyed Instagram and generally loathed Facebook. I’ve spent amazing moments with friends. I’ve re-established a habit of meditating. My basil’s growing really well. The words generally flow, the brush responds to my fingers, and I can still speak in my own voice and sing when I want to.

There’s a lot of things I still want to do and achieve, but hey, I’m here to hope about the future, think about the past, exist in the present. That’s a good thing.

And so, my life is going well. So while it’s a strange anniversary to mark, I prefer to think of it as the day where I’m still alive, goddamnit, and that’s a wonderful thing indeed.
  • Listening to: Manchester Orchestra
  • Reading: Australia's Best Science Writing 2017
  • Watching: Studio Ghibli
  • Playing: Starbound
  • Drinking: Green Smoothie

deviantID

Ravenari
Pia Ravenari
Artist | Professional | Traditional Art
Australia
I am a 'stay-at-home' artist with post-traumatic stress disorder with heavy dissociative characteristics thrown in. I have a distinct, and unique style which is being added to (and subtracted from) every day. I tend to express my love of the animal kingdom, or my darker themes regarding childhood and traumatic experiences in my art.

Current Residence: Perth, Western Australia
Favourite genre of music: Sadcore, Indie, Alternative
Favourite style of art: I don't know what my style is, but I like it enough to do it all the time.
MP3 player of choice: Winamp
Favourite cartoon character: Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. He is sexy.
Personal Quote: if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
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:iconjjpoatree:
JJPoatree Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2018  Hobbyist Photographer
amazing gallery! Love your work!
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:iconravenari:
Ravenari Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you! <3
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:icononikuh:
Onikuh Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2017  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday :)
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:iconcheetahamsloth:
CheetaHamSloth Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
~Happy Birthday~ :hug: 
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:icongryffgirl:
Gryffgirl Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2017
Wishing you a very happy birthday! :iconbirthdaycakeplz:
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:iconrachelillustrates:
rachelillustrates Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
Happy birthday. I hope things have gotten better and that you have a lovely day, filled with everything you love best! I Love You Emote 
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:iconjennystokes:
jennystokes Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2017  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday to YOU :sing: :dance: :blowkiss:'sss
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:iconthejewelofisis:
TheJewelOfIsis Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconballoonsplz: Happy Birthday :party:
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:iconvka3:
VKA3 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday, Pia.
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:iconfail-seeker:
Fail-Seeker Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2017
Happy Birthday! Here comes the Dee Jay: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s6DDK…
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